What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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