ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize