I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
