I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize
