After last night, I could never be a politician.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize