whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize