we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
should my penis look like a turkey
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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