I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
