well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
