How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
