remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
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