Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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