I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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