We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
