Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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