It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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