oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize