You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
