Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
