He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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