there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
