I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
