i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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