Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize