She's JV to your varsity
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
