Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
