Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
