Got a toothbrush?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
