I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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