Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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