Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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