I have demons in me.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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