I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
