when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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