She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
