Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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