please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
