tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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