i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it's like heaven, but drunker
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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