Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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