No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
