Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
