I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize