Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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