why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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