honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
