told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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