woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
