what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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