Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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