sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Boobs are out for the taking
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
