Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
