What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
