Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize