where am i from again
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
