I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
