girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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