Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Randomize
